raving_banshee (raving_banshee) wrote in mrspellam,
raving_banshee
raving_banshee
mrspellam

Some boosh slash

Fiction of a diseased mind! Enjoy!



Truth or Dare.



“Come on ya bumbarclart, I want some mini bar goodness!” said Vince as Howard slumped up the stairs after him, exhausted.
“I’m coming little man. I’m worn out from my ju ju trance!”
“What? Running around with a saxophone between your butt cheeks!”
“Your just jealous cause you know you could never pull off that kind of psychedelic spectacle” he quipped, giving a sarcastic smile which sent Vince into fits of laughter.
“Psychedelic spectacle! You looked like a hamster on LSD!”
“Yeah well, that’s nothing compared to what I’ve got planned for the last show, brace yourself for some serious jazz trance madness my friend!”
“You’re such a tit!”
Howard smiled as he watched his best friend laughing to himself whilst unlocking the hotel room door. He had an odd feeling that he’d just discovered something about him that he’d never noticed before. The moment was broken by the sound of two drunken girls dressed in stylish indie gear stumbling down the hall and laughing like hyenas.
“Oh my god!” said the blonde one, loud enough for the whole hotel to hear “we just saw your gig!”
“What did you think?” asked Vince, throwing her a killer smile.
“You guys rock!” she replied, flinging her hands in the air dramatically.
“That saxophone solo was awesome!” said the other dark haired one, smiling at Howard.
“Oh thanks!” he replied, leaning against the wall in what he liked to call his “sexual tiger” pose, “I was worried my progressive shapes wouldn’t go down too well”, he turned on his charm and smiled smugly at Vince as if to say “I told you so”.
Vince shook his head in mock despair.
“So are you ladies in the mood for a nightcap?” asked Howard casually.
“Nightcap? There not stately brandy drinking gentleman, they want to get twated don’t you girls?”
“Hell yeah!” they replied enthusiastically and proceeded to push past Howard and bestow Vince with a barrage of compliments on his hair and stage presence. As usual he lapped up the praise with a modest charm.
“Well I aim to please”
He flashed them another smile and beckoned Howard in with a tilt of his head. Howard returned the smile, shut the door behind him and joined the party, now beginning to regret his invitation.

After two bottles of red wine and some Bovril hula hoops, the girls, Minnie and Lulu, were off their tits, cackling like witches. Howard watched in contented silence as Vince worked his magic.
“So the wolves turned out to be mods and we did a little dance in the middle of the jungle, it was wild!”
“You guys are so funny!” scoffed Lulu, following it up with “don’t you ever get sick of each other?”
Howard quickly tried to think up a comeback to Vince’s inevitable tease, but was pleasantly surprised when he replied with;
“Nah, Howard’s a dude. We’re like two peas in a pod” they locked eyes and smiled at each other for a moment that seemed to stretch for ages before Vince broke it with; “He’s got crappy taste in music but I’m working on him”
The girls laughed as Howard objected.
“What’s wrong with be-bop? Gary Numan never started a musical revolution did he?”
‘Ere we go!” said Vince under his breath. Howard threw a coaster at his head.
“Oi, watch the hair!”
“Be silent you mod poof! Unbeknownst to you Mr Noir, I’ve been playing you John Coltrane in your sleep to realign your subconscious. Any day now you’ll wake up scatting and you want be able to stop!”
Vince broke into a fit of laughter and Howard couldn’t help but join in. There was a slight uncomfortable silence, until Lulu announced, with all the subtlety of an air raid siren;
“Are you two poofs? We had a bet in the club, we couldn’t decide!”
Howard was stumped for a witty comeback and could have sworn Vince blushed a little when he replied;
“Can’t two guys wear matching sombreros without getting called queer?”
His contagious smile sending the girls into fits of giggles.
“They are pretty cool!” said Minnie.
Howard was relived when it appeared the subject had fizzled out, but it was clear Lulu wasn’t done yet.
“Oh come on, you are aren’t you? Your always together, you must get lonely..”
“How about some jazz ladies?” piped in Howard in a desperate attempt to change the subject.
Minnie smiled slyly.
“I’ve got a better idea, let’s play truth or dare!”
“I’m up for that” replied Vince “you two are well naughty aren’t you?”
He shared a smile with Minnie as Lulu locked eyes with Howard and smiled in a way that unnerved him, as if she’d just discovered a secret.
“It’s getting a bit late don’t you think?”
“Don’t be a boring bastard Howard, you can play your crappy jazz later”
Howard’s objection was melted by a smile, and he admitted defeat. “Jammy little sod always gets his own way” he thought, as he leaned back in the chair trying to look comfortable.

After dares involving Howard running down the hall wearing only Lulu’s Topshop earrings, an rather unnerving confession from Minnie about how she’d dreamt of having sex with her brother in the shower and an amusing incident with the trouser press, Howard was ready for bed as the four of them slumped down on the floor in a heap, until Vince announced;
“Hey Lulu, you haven’t done a dare yet!”
Howard sighed under his breath; couldn’t he just get off with her and get rid of her already?
Lulu sat up brashly.
“Ok, hit me with it!”
Vince threw Howard a mischievously smile then said deliberately slowly.
“I dare you to get off with Minnie!”
To his surprise, Lulu casually poked a semi conscious Minnie awake and shoved her tongue in her mouth. Vince wolf whistled and grinned like a Cheshire cat, but his smile soon faded when he looked back at Howard, who wasn’t even watching.
“Hey Howard, have a cop at these two, there well into each other!” he said, followed by nervous laughter. Howard glanced over and made a half hearted grunt of approval. Lulu and Minnie pulled away, stared at each other, then broke into a fit of laughter.
“You’ve done this before haven’t you?” Vince asked.
“All the time!” replied Minnie proudly.
“Are you lezzers?” he asked grinning, again trying to involve Howard and finding him indifferent.
“No, we just think it’s funny!” they burst into laughter again, then Lulu looked form Vince to Howard and said smiling;
“You haven’t done a dare yet Vince!”
Vince sat up casually.
“Go on then, do your worst!”
She looked back to Howard and gave him a sly smile.
“I dare you to get off with Howard!”
Howard nearly choked on a mouthful of wine then laughed nervously, all he could think to do was joke about it.
“Not a chance, I’ve seen the weird gangled creatures he cavorts with, I don’t want to catch some incurable tropical disease…”
He stopped mid-sentence when Vince came and sat in front of him, grinning.
“Come on Howard, we’re comfortable with our sexuality. We’re not going get out done by a pair of dolly birds are we?”
Lulu and Minnie laughed then held their breath in anticipation as Vince bought his face up to Howard’s.
“Come on”, he said softly, smiling, “I’m not that minging am I?”
“No...” replied Howard in a barely audible whisper, about to add a witty remark when Vince pressed his lips on his. Howard felt a surge of warm in his stomach and didn’t realise they were touching tongues for what seemed like an age. He felt Vince’s hands in his hair and his spine quivered. Suddenly he pulled away in shock and looked around to see Minnie and Lulu halfway out the door. Lulu caught his eye and gave him a wink then shut the door behind her.
Howard was stunned to the core at what had just come over him. He was at a complete loss as to what he was going to say to laugh it off when he turned back. But before he even had time to think, Vince pulled his head back round to him slowly and met his eyes. Howard suddenly realised what had been going on all this time and relaxed as Vince stroked his hair and bought his face into his.
“Don’t stop”
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