some say.....he pisses pure vimto!
some say he fought off a whole clan of grizzly bears armed only with a crab stick!
some say he was the original lead singer of Status Quo
some say hes composed entirley of telephone manuals!
some say he licked Drew Barrymoores foot and went mad!
some say hes the bastard child of Germaine Greer and a ginat squid!
some say watching syncronised swimming gives him a hard on!
some say he tickled Prince Charles' chin while he was sleeping!
some say he liked the godfather trilogy though found part two rather boring in places!
some say he balanced a lemon on his foot and cried!
some say hes the best ballroom dancer the world has ever seen!
some say he used to be Mick Hucknells best friend but they had a falling out!
some say he ate a whole bag of flour and went on a journey in a small car!
some say he read Women In lOve and his head exploded!
some say hes just Noel Fielding in a tutu but we dont belive it!
some say his tesco value club card unlocks the secrets of the universe!
some say he licks cats inappropriatly!
some say hes the chairman of the Michael Jackson fan club!