Author: raving banshee
Pairing: Howard and Vince
Summary: Its all one big blur of forbidden kisses and bovril hoops as Howard and Vince prepare for their next gig and tackle their true feelings!
Rating: bit more angsty with some old men thrown in!
Howard woke with a start and tried in vain to piece together last nights events, but it was all a blur of alcohol, debauchery and…… did he?…no! Of course he didn’t! He may have thought about it, but he would have remembered that…and anyway, he was drunk! Wasn’t he?
“Morning Papa Moon!”
Howard nearly pissed himself as he turned to see Vince, sprawled next to him on the bed, wearing only his bright pink hot pants, gazing up at him with a gorgeous smile. Howard was so confused and embarrassed he just smiled back like an idiot. What was Vince doing in his bed? Maybe it was one of his little jokes, or maybe the vague memories of feeling the urge to kiss him had actually happened. One thing was for sure, he wasn’t going to ask.
“Well you’re certainly a dark horse!” Vince said laughing. “I didn’t know you had it in you!”
Howard was getting paranoid and uncomfortable.
“God I was so drunk, I don’t know what I was doing!” he replied, laughing nervously.
Vince moved his head over on to Howard’s shoulder.
“Don’t get freaked out, it’s ok.”
“I’m not…” he replied forcefully, but was soon cut short when he felt a light kiss on his neck.
“What would Gideon say if she knew ay? Maybe she knew all along, those girls certainly seemed to have figured it out long before we did!”
“Knew what? There’s nothing to know!” Howard jumped out of bed with a violent force that nearly knocked Vince unconscious.
“What’s wrong Howard?” he asked, sitting up and watching in confused amazement as Howard stormed off into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Howard splashed his face with cold water and stared deep into his reflection. It was all starting to flood back with Technicolor visuals. The dares, the kiss, the Jacuzzi, the handcuffs, the way Vince had kissed that scar on his thigh and told him he’d wanted this for so long.
“I’m not gay!” he’d protested.
“Neither am I….”
Vince let out a deep sigh as he gazed around the trashed hotel room. He knew Howard would be embarrassed, but he never imagined he’d be ashamed. After the Jacuzzi and the balcony and the shared shower afterwards to wash off all the….
Howard came out and started storming round the room like a caged animal.
“What you looking for?” Vince asked sheepishly.
“My clothes of course, as much as I would love to roam around naked as nature intended I don’t want to get arrested!”
Vince winced as the barrage of sarcasm stabbed him in the heart.
“There in my room, on the floor, were you took them all off” he said quietly, meeting his eyes and seeing recognition in them before Howard scowled at him and stormed past. Vince felt himself welling up, then decided he wasn’t going to make a fool of himself in front of Howard. “I’ll go buy myself a new cow boy hat, that’s what I’ll do! Fuck him!” he thought to himself, not realising till he was halfway down the hall, and was getting odd looks, that he was still only wearing his hot pants.
Howard felt the cold stab of guilt as he untangled his tweed and y-fronts from Vince’s red leather suit and studded belt. “It was a mistake” he told himself “Just a drunken desperate mistake, and I’m just going to forget all about it, yeah! He’ll soon forget all about it once he’s bought himself a new accessory! Yeah!”
He turned to walk out and banged into Vince who had crept in slowly. They stared at each other as an awkward silence crept over the room. Then Howard stifled a laugh.
“You walked out without your clothes on again didn’t you?”
“No!” he looked down and smiled like a child whose got caught being naughty and Howard felt surge of love for him. Unfortunately for Vince, Howard was not as familiar with this feeling and shoved Vince’s clothes in his hands roughly before walking out the room, eyes straight ahead.
Vince downed the last of his Flirtini, checked his reflection in the dressing room mirror (we’ll, it was less of a dressing room, more a toilet cubicle smelling of sweat and hair lacquer) and took a deep breath. He hadn’t seen Howard all day and was starting to doubt whether he would even show up. He nearly jumped out of his Mirror ball suit when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in” he said, half inviting, half scared shitless.
He needn’t have worried, it was the venue manager (well, less of a venue, more a seedy hovel smelling of piss and fresh blood)
“You’re on in five minutes!” the fat scowling manger said sharply, looking Vince up and down with confused disgust.
“Thanks, urm, has my mate Howard turned up yet?”
The manager frowned and grunted.
“Tall guy, beady eyes, awful hair….willowy legs?”
After an uncomfortable silence, the manager finally replied.
“Oh that ponce, he’s out in the bar, looking like a tit!”
He gave Vince another unimpressed once over.
“What sort of music you two do again?”
“It’s sort of an electro pop jazz combo…” Vince’s enthusiasm was cut short when the manager butted in with
“We’ll you both look like a pair of fairies, just do you electro crap and piss off!”
With that, he turned, farted and dragged his flubber down the hall.
Vince was about to shout something insulting back but couldn’t think of anything worthy. Where was Howard when you needed him?
Howard was tuning up his bass guitar, while all seven audience members, mostly old men, shouted there war stories to each other and broke their dentures on pork scratching's. “Why do I even bother!” he thought to himself. All day he’s been on the verge of walking away, just packing up and heading off on his own. It was obvious Vince was happy about what had happened, and as much as Howard couldn’t handle it, he didn’t want to hurt his best friend, but the fact was, he wasn’t queer!
“Neither am I….”
He couldn’t remember what he’d said after that, but it didn’t matter! He’d decided, he’d finish the tour, then tell Vince he was quitting the band. It was the only fair and logical thing to do, and Howard had always prided himself on his logic…
He looked up just as Vince walked in, dressed in a human sized disco ball. Where did he get the ideas for this stuff? He was truly unique! “Yeah, unique and amazing and…STOP IT!”
Vince walked up to him with trepidation and smiled.
Howard smiled back.
“Just fine little man, digging the suit! Always have to upstage me don’t you?”
“I thought you’d say that, that’s why I made you a tweed one!”
Howard smiled, who else in the world would ever do that for him?
For some reason Howard clamped up even though he wanted to stop this conversation from starting.
“About last night, I just want you to know...”
“Vince please, we’ve got a gig in minute!”
“Listen, just….I just want you to know that I’m sorry if I got you into something you didn’t want to do, I just thought…you felt the same you know…”
Howard was only half listening, he was suddenly starting to remember the missing piece of last night’s jigsaw puzzle.
“But obviously you don’t, so let’s just forget it ok, pretend it never happened...”
The old men were starting to heckle with “come on then ya poofs, show us what you got!” Howard and Vince hardly noticed.
It suddenly came to him, what he’d said, what had made it all alright…..
“I’m not gay!”
“Neither am I, the point is, I love you all the same!”
“I love you Howard, I’ve always loved you!”
“No…no you haven’t, I would have noticed!”
“What, you! You never notice anything, your too busy writing crap novels and getting in jazz trances!”
He’d smiled, he’d thought “finally!” he’d walked up to him and pulled him to his lips…
“No, you listen to me Vince!” Vince felt a heavy weight in his stomach and prepared himself for what he guessed was coming, he was going to leave him!
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to pretend it never happened!”
“What?” replied Vince, amazed.
“Oi ponce! Are you and your missus gonna sing for your supper or what?” yelled some old codger, as the rest joined in heckling and laughing.
“Excuse me Vince!”
Howard walked over to the old codgers and Vince, snapping out of the moment, pulled him back.
“Don’t do anything stupid Howard! We’re getting sued by that bar mitzvah party remember!”
But there was no stopping him, he stood in front of the horde, hands on his hips, proud like a mighty loin and said.
“He’s not my missus, he’s my boyfriend and you can either stay and watch the birth of a musical revolution or you can piss off back to your ugly wives, got it?”
The old men were stunned to silence, but most amazed of all was Vince.
“Howard, did you just say I was you’re…”
But before he could finish, Howard had turned, pulled him close, and kissed him passionately. He pulled away and smiled.
“I thought you said you weren’t gay?”
“I’m not you battycrease, the point is I love you all the same!”
They were both so happy, they forgot all about the stinking old men, watching in amazement as some trannie looking ponce in a mirror suit snogged some gangled creature in a Hawaiian two piece.
“Well, it beats Karaoke and it’s more interesting than porn!”
They nodded their heads in agreement and settled back to watch.>